A Conversation Between the Canadian Prime Minister and Gordon Brown – Two Commonwealth Politicians I Know Very Little About

At right: Former UK prime minister Gordon Brown, at left: Canada's prime minister (artist's interpretation)
CP: Harper?

GB: No, Brown.

CP: My name, I mean. Isn’t it something Harper?

GB: That sounds right.

CP: Steven?

GB: Oh, I have no idea. Could be anything. Might not even be Harper.

CP: I can’t even name a single Canadian prime minister before me.

GB: Nobody can. You literally could be the first one ever.

CP: Before you were prime minister, it was Tony Blair. There are a lot of movies where someone plays him.

GB: Yes, Michael Sheen played him once.

CP: Related to Charlie?

GB: No, Charlie’s real last name is Estevez.

CP: Oh, right, I knew that.

GB: A prime minister does “blank.”

CP: A prime minister does…governing?

GB: Yeah, maybe.

CP: I think we’re like the president of the country, but maybe not as powerful.

GB: So Canada has a government just like other countries?

CP: Definitely. We have an army and laws just like real countries.

GB: But you’re also kind of a colony of England?

CP: I don’t know about the whole colony thing, but I think your queen is also our queen. I know there’s a picture of her on our money.

GB: Helen Mirren played her in the same movie that Michael Sheen played Tony Blair.

CP: Are Parliament and Congress the same thing?

GB: Yes, everything about England is the same as America, but with a different name.

CP: Like lifts are elevators.

GB: Exactly. And chips are French Fries.

CP: In Canada, hockey is a thing we do and like.