A Conversation Between Golda Meir and Yasser Arafat – Two Former Mideast Leaders I Know Very Little About

Golda and Yassir, seen here giving off that "will they or won't they" vibe.
Meir: I like your headscarf.

[Arafat wears a headscarf of the same pattern that hipsters currently wear as regular scarves.]

Arafat: Thank you, it is the same one hipsters in the Lower East Side of Manhattan currently wear for fashion.


Arafat: And I like the way you look like the old woman in those illustrations where if you look at it one way, it looks like an old woman with a mole and head covering, but if you look at it another way, it looks like an elegant younger woman in a hat.

Meir: Yes, those drawings are of me.

Arafat: Not to brag, but I am the head of the PLO, which is an organization that people don’t talk about anymore, so it likely does not exist these days. But in the 1980s, people were all like, “PLO this and PLO that.”

Meir: I remember the PLO. It had something to do with Palestine and something to do with oil.

Arafat: Yes, everything in the Middle East has to do with Palestine and oil.

Meir: I was the leader of Israel, but probably a lot earlier than the 1980s.

Arafat: Probably, but not definitely. I would not be surprised if you were actually the head of Israel in the 1980s. Who can remember who was in charge then?

Meir: You hate me because I am Jewish, right?

Arafat: Essentially. Although Golda is a pretty cool name.

Meir: Thank you. Yasser is a pretty sweet name, too.

Arafat: I mean, all of the “you’re Jewish and stole our homeland and your people control the world’s banks and drink the blood of children” stuff aside, you and I could have made a nice couple. Under different circumstances, I mean. Yasser and Golda.

Meir: It does have a nice ring to it. “Who will be at board game night tonight?” “Oh, you know, Tim and Stacy, Mike and Danielle, Yasser and Golda.”

Arafat: “Oh, Yasser and Golda will be there?! I am very excited. They are such the happening couple! I will be there then. I will be at board game night!”

Meir: We could play Monopoly maybe.

Arafat: Your people must be great at that game.

Meir: Yes, we are very good at games involving money, and… Oh you, I see what you did there…

[They laugh.]

Arafat: You got me, you got me.

[And laugh and laugh.]