Frank: I was not president of the United States.
Ham: Nor was I.
Frank: People think we were.
Ham: Because we are on money. People are not smart.
Frank: I invented electricity?
Ham: Are you asking me?
Frank: I think I did. To the best of my knowledge, I tied a key to a kite and then flew the kite in a lightning storm, discovering that the bright, electrified bolt in the sky is something that can hurt you.
Ham: Also bifocals you may have invented.
Frank: I may have.
Ham: I was shot by Aaron Burr in a duel. In New Jersey, of all places.
Frank: What did Burr have against you?
Ham: Not sure. You’d have to ask that guy from the Got Milk commercial.
Frank: With all of the peanut butter in his mouth?
Frank: So, the $10 bill. That must be quite an honor.
Ham: Ha ha, very funny.
Frank: No, seriously, the ten’s a good bill. At least it ain’t the one.
Ham: But it’s also not the hundred, right? Is that where you’re going with this?
Frank: Come to think of it, it’s definitely not the hundred.
Ham: How’s the syphilis?
Frank: Burning and unpleasant.