Charles: You’re almost definitely gay, right?

Prince: You would think so, but I think I actually transcend gender. I’ve literally made love to air.

Charles: To completion?

Prince: To completion.

Charles: I am married to a simply terribly looking woman.

Prince: Which doesn’t make sense because because you are literally the prince of England.

Charles: And one day I will be king?

Prince: I don’t know. Not sure how that monarchy shit works.

Charles: Nobody is.

Prince: Your ex-wife Diana was pretty hot though. Why would you cheat on her with that huge horse-like lady?

Charles: Not sure. I’m most likely into some pretty crazy sex shit. I think all of us royals are pretty messed up.

Prince: Like the time your son dressed as a Nazi.

Charles: But the other son is doing pretty awesome, right?

Prince: Yeah, that Kate Middleton is a piece of ass.

Charles: And how about her sister, Pippa?

Prince: Yeah, how about her sister!

Charles: Purple Rain is weird.

Prince: The song or the movie?

Charles: Both I guess.

Prince: Yes, both are pretty weird. I’m incredibly strange.