A Conversation Between Captain Sully Sullenberger and That jetBlue Flight Attendant Who Did Something That People Are Pretending Was Heroic

Chesley Sullenberger (L), Steven "A.C" Slater (R)

Attendant: Look at us, two heroes, huh?


Attendant: You, for murdering those geese, me for refusing to do my job.

Sullenberger: I didn’t murder any geese. I saved hundreds of lives. I think what we do is a bit different.

Attendant: Well, yeah, you don’t have to deal with passengers, which must make the job easier.

Sullenberger: Exactly, I don’t have to deal with passengers. Except, of course, making it so that they can fly through the air going hundreds of miles per hour and arrive at their destination alive. You sling bags of peanuts if I’m not mistaken.

Attendant: Look, the point is, we’re both heroes.

Sullenberger: Yup, both heroes. Why are you a hero, again?

Attendant: I didn’t like my job. It was annoying.

Sullenberger: So why not resign?

Attendant: [Mumbling under his breath] Not dramatic.

Sullenberger: What was that? Speak up, son.

Attendant: Wouldn’t have been dramatic enough.

Sullenberger: That’s what I thought.

Attendant: [Mumbling under his breath] Landing a plane in the water doesn’t seem so hard anyway.

Sullenberger: Excuse me?

Attendant: Planes float anyway.

Sullenberg: No, they don’t.

Attendant: I’m a hero!

[The attendant jumps onto an inflatable ramp and slides away from the conversation. He is celebrated as a hero for dramatically exiting a conversation he didn’t want to be in.]