A Conversation Between Luciano Pavarotti and Julio Iglesias – Two, Let’s Say, Europeans I Know Very Little About

At right: Julio Iglesias singing to all the girls he's loved before, at left: Luciano Pavarotti singing to all the ham he's loved before.
Luce: Spanish?

Iglesias: Yes, I’m definitely Spanish. You Italian?

Luce: Probably.

Iglesias: You are fat and a tenor.

Luce: Yes, one of the Three Tenors. There have only been three tenors and I was one of them. I say “was,” because as of recently, I am dead.

Iglesias: Yeah?

Luce: I think it happened a few years ago.

Iglesias: I am still alive though, right?

Luce: Not sure. Probably because you are not that old. Here are the things I know about you that are definitely true: you are a singer, likely Spanish, your last name means church in Spanish, and you have a son who has a mole on his face.

Iglesias: He had the mole removed.

Luce: What? When?

Iglesias: Few years ago.

Luce: Good call.

Iglesias: Yes. He went far too long pretending it was something he was OK with.

Luce: Let us list people we are not.

Iglesias: Jose Feliciano is not me.

Luce: I am not Andrea Bocelli.

Iglesias: We are not Tony Orlando.

Luce: Josh Groban is the American us.