A Conversation Between Leonardo da Vinci and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – Two Italians I Consider to Be Geniuses

"Vitruvian Man" by Leonardo da Vinci (L), "The Situation" by Mike Sorrentino (R)

Situation: Oh, you! Mona Lisa, right?

da Vinci: Yes, this is-a one of my-a pantings. This one you-a like?

Situation: She’s a fucking smokeshow that chick. I would smush that shit.

da Vinci: You are an entertainer, yes?

Situation: Yeah, D-Vin, you can say I entertain! Like freakin’ Hanks in that movie about you.

da Vinci: I don’t a-know of this a-movie.

Situation: Shit’s off the hook, Leo. You got Hanks who’s like Indiana Jones and he’s figuring out that Jesus had kids and shit. Look who I’m telling though. You hid the shit in your pictures, right?

da Vinci: My art can-a be interpreted in-a many ways.

Situation: That’s like the Situation, yo. Some people are like, “Oh, the Situation, you’re so sensitive and smart, I thought you were just all about the Situation, but the Situation, you’re so much more than the Situation. You’re a complex man, the Situation.”

da Vinci:

Situation: How about the one with Jesus eating dinner?

da Vinci: The Last Supper.

Situation: That one, too, man. That’s one’s the shit, too. You should design like a sick Ed Hardy shirt, like with Jesus and Mona and then a dragon is creepin’ on her in the Jacuzzi and shit and Jesus is holding a sword out to fight off the dragon. My cousin knows a kid who does stuff for Hardy. I’ll make a call.

da Vinci: Enough-a small talk, yes? Show-a Leonardo the fucking Situation.

[The Situation slowly, hesitantly, lifts his shirt, revealing his rock solid abs.]

Situation: [under his breath] All they ever want is to see the Situation. I thought he’d be different. I thought he was a true friend. One day, the Situation. One day you will find a real friend.