Newton: An apple fell on my head and I realized it was gravity that made it happen.

Washington: Like when I cut down that cherry tree and it fell?

Newton: Precisely.

Washington: Hadn’t apples fallen on people before?

Newton: I have to assume they did, but I was the first that was like, “Wait, what the fuck? Why did… Hmm…”

Washington: I ended up not lying about the cherry tree thing. Apparently there was the option for me to either lie or not lie and I selected to not lie. It was a pretty big deal.

Newton: And then you became president?

Washington: I stood on a boat and crossed the Delaware River and pointed at one of the shores…don’t know which one…and then we beat the British at war and then I became president.

Newton: I pretty much just did the gravity thing. Explained it to people and how it doesn’t exist in space.

Washington: My teeth are made of wood. I’m not sure if this was done voluntarily or not, but I know that currently I have wooden teeth.

Newton: I have Sir in my name, so was apparently knighted at one point, which would make me British.

Washington: Then we must do war.

[Newton and Washington do a war and once again Washington beats the British by doing his patented “Crossing of the Delaware” move.]