A Conversation Between James Dean and Audrey Hepburn – Two 1950s-Era Thespians I Know Very Little About

James Dean (L), original EGOT Audrey Hepburn (R)
Dean: We were both big stars and then died young.

Hep: Yeah, except maybe I didn’t die young.

Dean: That’s true. I’m just assuming you did, because you were in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and then maybe nothing else.

Hep: Sabrina?

Dean: With Greg Kinnear?

Hep: No, the original.

Dean: I don’t know, maybe. And then you died?

Hep: What about Roman Holiday?

Dean: Oh yeah, right. It sounds like maybe you were in a lot of movies. Why do I think you died young then?

Hep: Because people only know that one picture of me when I’m young and wearing long gloves and smoking a cigarette from a cigarette holder.

Dean: So you didn’t die young then.

Hep: Maybe I grew up to be Katherine Hepburn?

Dean: Are you fucking kidding me?

Hep: Sort of. It’s very unlikely that I grew up to be her, right?

Dean: I think impossible.

Hep: Was she my mom or something?

Dean: Or you were hers.

Hep: Right, maybe I was hers.

Dean: All I know is I did Rebel Without a Cause, then two other movies, then crashed a car and died.

Hep: And as a result you’re eternally young, handsome, and awesome.

Dean: Almost worth doing it that way, really. Otherwise you could end up being Mickey…

Hep: [Interrupting] Mickey Rourke. I was just gonna say that.

Dean: What’s wrong with his face?

Hep: And body.

Dean: Yeah, and his body.

Hep: That Jimmy Dean sausage thing have anything to do with you?

Dean: I wish.