A Conversation Between a Coca-Cola Executive and a Pepsi-Cola Executive – Two Soft Drink Salesmen I Know Very Little About

At left: America's champagne. At right: Swill that is barely fit for human consumption.
[Coke walks up with a briefcase in his hand. It’s one of those briefcases that has a chain and handcuffs at the end, which is attached to his wrist.]

Pepsi: What’s in the briefcase?

Coke: Don’t worry about it.

Pepsi: Come on, what is it?

Coke: None of your freakin’ business.

Pepsi: [Chuckling] Oh my God, it’s not the secret formula, is it?

Coke: It’s just…whatever. It’s none of your business.

Pepsi: [Laughing] I can’t believe you have it handcuffed to your wrist.

Coke: Why wouldn’t I? It’s important.

Pepsi: Important?! It’s not even a secret. We did it. We figured out your magic formula. Happened like 100 years ago. Pretty easy to make it turned out.

Coke: It’s not the same thing!

Pepsi: No, it’s not. It’s better. Why don’t you check out a little something called the Pepsi Challenge.

Coke: You know those results were called into question!

Pepsi: Hey, I forgot to tell you, RC Cola called; they said they figured out your secret recipe 50 years ago.

Coke: Yeah, well the new generation called, said they changed their choice.

Pepsi: Hey Coke…

Coke: What?!

Pepsi: I’d like to buy the world your mom.

[Coke walks off in a huff, his briefcase in hand. Pepsi opens a small vial and does a bump of cocaine. He does it for the irony, he tells his wife every night. He only does it for the irony.]


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