Hancock: I signed the Declaration of Independence.

Dole: Could have been the Constitution.

Hancock: True, but I think the Declaration of Independence is the one that everyone signed.

Dole: In order to be someone who signed that, you probably did great things in your life, heroic ones even, but all anybody knows about you is that you signed a thing.

Hancock: And all anyone knows about you is that you have a fake right hand, which you usually keep a pen in for some reason.

Dole: Is it fake or does it just not move?

Hancock: Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Dole: I suppose you’re right.

Hancock: That sucks that people only know you for your hand, because I think you might have actually been a war hero too, which is much more admirable than just being someone with a lame hand.

Dole: It’s even possible I lost the hand while fighting in a war.

Hancock: That would be extremely heroic.

Dole: Even just serving as a senator for like 100 years is something I’d rather be known for than just the guy with the pen in his hand who lost to Bill Clinton in 1996.

Hancock: Oh, wait, people also know that Norm Macdonald sketch from SNL where he plays you and says, “That’s Bob Dole’s peanut butter.”

Dole: Yeah, I guess that’s pretty cool.

Hancock: Better than just being known as the guy who was able to write his name in a fancy way.

Dole: Yeah, a name that has the word “cock” in it.