A Conversation Between Mikhail Baryshnikov and Mikhail Gorbachev – The Only Non-Bond Villain Russians I Know

Mikhail Gorbachev (L) and Mikhail Baryshnikov, seen here with their respective lovers

Baryshnikov: In Russia, the name Mikhail must be like the name Tom or Bob in America, because that is both of our names and we are famous Russians.

Gorbachev: This might be a coincidence, because most Americans cannot name a third Russian person named Mikhail.

Baryshnikov: Yakov Smirnoff is another Russian that Americans know, but his name is not Mikhail.

Gorbachev: No, it is Yakov.

Baryshnikov: Have you seen me dance?

Gorbachev: Yes, you are very well known for dancing. You are the only ballet dancer most people know. That means you are probably the best.

Baryshnikov: I was also on the American TV show Sex and the City. This seems strange to people because they just thought I was a Russian dancer and then all of a sudden, I was on a popular American TV series. They were like, “What? Huh?”

Gorbachev: I remember seeing you on that show. You dated Carrie. Also, I have a large spot on my head that looks like an ink stain.

Baryshnikov: Americans know this about you. They also know that President Ronald Reagan said that you should tear down a wall, which nowadays, people find confusing because he was talking about the Berlin Wall and that is in Germany and not Russia and young people today don’t really understand what the Soviet Union, the Cold War, or the threat of communism were.

Gorbachev: They remember words like Glasnost and Perestroika and have no idea what these programs were.

Baryshnikov: Americans only remember the ink stain on your head and that I was on Sex and the City.

Gorbachev: They are ignorant, these Americans.

Baryshnikov: Vodka, cold weather, Moscow, Lenin, Miracle on Ice.