The Grape Tomatoes of Wrath*
Marinara, dried basil, sparsely topped with bitter, unripe grape tomatoes.
Smoked mozzarella di Bufala, heavy cream, pesto cooked to perfection in a book-burning oven.
The Count of Monte Crusto
Pâté de foie gras, duck jus, deep-dish style crust stuffed with brie and extraneous characters.
The Artichoke Heart Is a Lonely Hunter
Alfredo, Parmigiano-Reggiano, ricotta-filled Jerusalem artichokes. Guaranteed to leave you speechless.
Sons and Meat Lovers
Sopressata, prosciutto cotto, and pork sausage smothered in so much motherly affection your male children will never be able to love another woman.
A ‘Shroom of One’s Own
Portobello, porcini, and chanterelle mushrooms, breast-milk cheese, lightly drizzled with estrogen-infused truffle oil. Comes in personal pan size only.
*Also served as part of our Depression Special: pizza plus tin cup (or Dust Bowl) of one-bean soup (single kidney bean in hot water, no salt)
Guaranteed Deliverance in 30 minutes or your pizza is free!