Life is full of problems. Most can be solved with violence. For those that can’t, there’s Whim. Introducing Serious Matters, a new monthly show where friends of America’s favorite flammable magazine debate and definitively solve the largest problems plaguing humanity. Mainly by making jokes.

Please join us next Tuesday, April 19th, at Three of Cups Lounge (map) for the inaugural installment of what is sure to become the most entertaining public affairs program this side of Tavis Smiley. The show begins at 8:30 p.m., with the fun to start soon after, depending on one’s level of intoxication.

Whim Quarterly Presents: Serious Matters

Featuring comedy from:
Sean Donnelly
Elliott Kalan
Josiah Madigan
Dan McCoy
Matt Passet
Bongo the Time Traveling Monkey (schedule permitting)

Hosted by Kevin McCaffrey

Tuesday, April 19th @ 8:30 p.m.
at Three of Cups Lounge

Appears in issue #4.5 of Whim. To order a copy, click here.

What to Do There:
Jigsaw Puzzles
Mom’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be. See if you can’t find a piece with three pegs and two holes. That’s not it. I know it looks like it’ll fit, but it won’t.

Law & Order Reruns
There’s an SUV marathon on channel 11, if you can figure out how to use this new remote. So many buttons!

Sorting Through Those Boxes Marked “College” in the Attic
It’s been ten years since you graduated, don’t you think it’s time to get rid of some of this stuff?

•••

Marés Gorduroso, Brazil
Nestled in the heart of Brazil’s Mato Grosso region, this former fishing village now reels in visitors by capitalizing on its proximity to the Amazonian rainforest. Unlike wilderness preserves that rarely allow people to venture into protected areas, the resorts of Marés Gorduroso advocate “unsustainable tourism,” encouraging guests to interact–and if the mood strikes them, destroy–large swaths of this increasingly rare habitat. While some say these resorts are nothing but work camps designed to attract cheap foreign labor, those who have seen 50 acres of jungle disappear in the eerie red glow of a controlled burn know the experience is not to be missed. Book a trip today and a portion of the purchase price will go toward relocating the indigenous Yawalapiti tribe, whose ancestral hunting grounds would happen make a great pasture for 500 head of cattle.

What to Do There:
Self-Guided Nature Excursions
Spend an afternoon in the driver’s seat of a Franklin 3600 hydrostatic tree feller, admiring the breathtaking diversity of the rainforest’s upper canopy as it comes crashing down around you.

Team and Road Building Exercises
Get to know your fellow tourists while working together to clear a path for logging trucks. Wielding a machete has never been this much fun.

Infirmary Visits
Be sure to try their signature cocktail: the quinine shot.

•••

Gorkton, PA
A short drive from Gettysburg finds this picturesque hamlet, site of the Battle of Reggie’s Toe–known to history buffs as “the least important battle of the Civil War.” March the very same forest and fields in which no brave young men laid down their lives for the cause of freedom. Look upon the stream where lost members of General Robert E. Lee’s retreating army and six Yankees who’d missed their train waged a ferocious eight-minute skirmish. In the still air, one can almost hear the shoving and hollering that came to a bloodless end only when everyone agreed to pretend it had never happened. Of special note is the plaque commemorating those “fallen” men who tripped on some exposed tree roots while distracted by a bird (though historians now believe this detail is apocryphal).

What to Do There:
Battle Re-enactments
Re-enactments occur regularly, but are easy to miss. Often tourists will find they’ve been taking part in one for several minutes without realizing it.

Bullet Hunting
Comb the woods for real shot and shell. None were fired during the battle, but local teens frequently practice on tin cans while drinking.

Visitor’s Center/Cap’n Jack’s Crab Shack
Informational display presents several shoelaces believed to have been dropped during the battle. Also, $7.99 for a large popcorn shrimp platter.

•••

Sea of Tranquility, The Moon
Searching for the next great vacation destination? Just look to the sky (assuming it’s night). This lunar lagoon caters to those with a desire to get away from it all: people, worries, gravity. Untouched by human feet since 1972, the beaches surrounding this lunar lagoon are as private as it gets this side of the Oort Cloud. Be sure to pack a pressurized, airtight spacesuit and plenty of SPF 200. With no atmosphere to deflect the sun’s UV rays, it doesn’t take long to get a killer tan. Also, though several million years of cosmic radiation bombardment has presumably destroyed any impurities in it, it’s best to abstain from drinking the water. Found only in the moon’s soil, the complicated mining equipment needed to extract it probably won’t make it past TSA screeners at Kennedy Space Center. Instead, stick to a orange-infused mixed drink the locals call “Tang.”

What to Do There:
Rock Collecting
Though somewhat picked over by NASA, there are still plenty of moon rocks littering the Sea of Tranquility’s shores. Note that these are pretty much the only souvenirs you’ll find up there.

Golf
You’ll feel like Tiger Woods, as the moon’s low gravity routinely makes drives soar for well over 300 yards. Good luck topping astronaut Alan Shepard’s club record of one.

The Dark Side of the Moon
Though it’s become a tourist trap since the release of the Pink Floyd album of the same name, it’s still worth a visit.

•••

ADX Florence Correctional Facility, CO
Southern Colorado’s premier all-inclusive resort, ADX Florence (or Supermax, as it’s known to regulars), offers a relaxing, ascetic getaway unparalleled in the United States. Far from all human contact (except from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. every other Tuesday), you’ll be able to clear your head and get your mind right. Here’s the best part: during your stay, you don’t have to do a thing. In fact, it’s against facility policy to do much of anything. Meals? Chef’s choice. Laundry? Done for you by your fellow guests. Spend just two nights here and you’ll find yourself wondering why you ever considered going the gulag route.

What to Do There:
Visit the Fitness Center
Sorry, cardio fiends — this gym is strictly for getting your swell on. Most vacationers start pumping iron in advance of their stay, just in case they accidentally look at someone the wrong way during check-in.

Get a Razor Tattoo in Block D
Henna tattoos are great, but one done with a razor is a memento that will last a lifetime. Nothing says “ride or die” like a scar that says “ride or die.”

Start an Uprising
Take part in your own reality show-style coalition. Form alliances, hammer out compromises between rival factions, and maybe even score some sweet contraband for yourself.

•••

123 Sesame Street
Not to be confused with the similarly themed Pennsylvania theme park, this squeaky clean thoroughfare is almost too good to be true, what with a crime rate of zero and the ability to enhance self-esteem in a single hour. Revel in the area’s rich wildlife, featuring rollerskating man-birds, the world’s last known wooly mammoth, and a unclassifiable, red-haired creature that answers to “Elmo.” Best of all, it’s easy to get to. Just ask. Parents, feel like your one of your kids is not like the others? Everyone is welcome at the only travel destination to be brought to you by the letter T.

What to Do There:
Learn to Count
Using your favorite food as a teaching tool, local fixture the Count will, well, teach you to count. One jellybean, wah-ah-ahh… TWO jellybeans, wah-ah-ahh…

Take Your Llama to the Dentist
You haven’t lived until you’ve taken a camelid for a root canal. Don’t have a llama? Don’t worry. Anything is possible on Sesame street — if you ask nicely.

Sit on Stoops for Hours
Enjoy the view from the steps of a brownstone somewhere in a city that looks vaguely like New York. Sitting on stoops in Sesame Street’s number-one pastime, mostly because you’re never allowed to go inside.

Enjoy a Bath
Bath time is more fun with toys and friends, like Ernie and his rubber duckie. [NOTE: extensive paperwork and legal representation may be required.]

•••

Bellevue Ghost Town, AZ
Pull on a pair of Levi’s and wedge your feet into a pair of cowboy boots, because it’s time to take a tumbleweed-ridden stroll back in time. Check out the crumbling foundation of Arizona’s first post office, or dig for spittoon fragments at the former site of Brown’s Saloon. Those looking for adventure can swing by the long-defunct Gibson Cooper Iron Works and peer into its chasmic abandoned mine shaft, but be sure to watch your foot–oooooooooh nooooooooo! [Crashing and grunting noises]

What to Do There:
Don’t Panic
Be thankful everyone is alive. Ignore the fact that your ulna is poking out of your skin. It’ll heal. Remind yourself that you told family members where you were going before you left. Wait? You didn’t tell them?

Attempt Escape
Before the shock wears off and pain sets in, attempt to climb your way out. This won’t work. It will, however, turn your hands into mangled, bloody claws. Be thankful for those mangled, bloody claws. They’re all you have left.

Try Cannibalism
You’re going to be here a while. Determine which member of your tour group has the most meat, but the least fight left in them. If you’re having trouble deciding, go with whoever looks tastiest.

•••

Musée Dave Coulier, Paris
Planning to spend your time in France taking in the same old sites like the Louvre and Eiffel Tower? Well, cut-it-out! Situated on the scenic Avenue des Champs-Élysées, the Musée Dave Coulier has quickly become the toast of Parisian culture, and for good reason. While there are several hundred other museums dedicated to Dave Coulier throughout the globe, the new Paris location was designed by Frank Gehry and is said contain the world’s most comprehensive collection of Dave Coulier relics and historical artifacts. Coulier himself blessed the building’s cornerstone (now known as “the Gladstone”) and is protected by armed guards 24 hours a day.

What to Do There:
America’s Funniest People Exhibit
Running from April 1, 2011 through June 1, 2012, this exhibit features art inspired by clips from the show and guest talks from people involved in its production. On April 20th, AFP theme song composer Philip Glass will speak about his process and what it was like to collaborate with Stephen Sondheim on the lyrics.

The “You Oughta Know” Wing
A landmark honoring the 1995 power ballad thought to be based on Coulier, this wing displays Alanis Morissette’s original handwritten lyrics sheet, as well as the microphone into which she screamed the song during the Jagged Little Pill recording sessions.

•••

Brocono Mountains, PA
Ladies, feel free to skip ahead to the next destination. Resorts in the Bro-canos exclusively cater to those in homosocial relationships. Consistently ranked as America’s most bromantic getaway by Bro-mmer’s travel guides, these Pennsylvania peaks offer all sorts of activities to encourage male bonding (i.e., sports). In the winter months, the skiing is not to be missed (specifically the world-class broguls runs), while in the summer, the area’s many lakes and rivers host all sorts of aquatic games (including some very competitive water brolo leagues). Older, less active visitors can take advantage of the region’s high concentration of proctology practices and get a “brolonoscopy” exam in a supportive environment. If the trip goes well, couples looking to take their bromance to the next level might consider a weekend jaunt to Provincetown or Fire Island.

What to Do There:
Man-Cave Spelunking
Explore a network of caverns that, local legend has it, is where Lenape tribesmen would come to get away from their squaws and talk sports.

Arts & Crafts Workshops
Visitors needing a break from physical activity can learn make stuff with their hands by taking classes in man-crame, bro-cheting, and em-bro-idery.

•••

G.H. Beach, TX
They say if you can remember Woodstock, you weren’t really there. The same is true for this popular spring break destination. Located on the Gulf of Mexico about 60 miles to the northeast of South Padre Island, most college students who come to this notorious party town have only the faintest recollections of what they did while there, no matter how long their stay. Despite the foggy memories, visitors generally look back on the experience with fondness. Though the prolonged blackouts are troubling…

What to Do There:
Drinking
You’re never far from a bar at G.H. Beach. Perhaps it’s the proximity to the ocean, but for some reason drinks taste saltier than normal here. Not to mention potent.

Dancing
Nothing feels better after a few super salty cocktails than moving your body.

Waking up in Strange Locations
Don’t bother booking a hotel. Chances are you won’t wind up sleeping there.

Thanks to Devon Coleman, Elliott Kalan, Matt Passet, and Greg Volk for contributing to this piece.

For even more unearthed destinations, head to wanderfly.com.

What to Do There:
Sailing Away to Another World
Boat trips leave daily from the tip of Kenny Rogers’s beard.

Relying on Each Other
Like one lover to another. Uh-huh.

•••

Mayberry, NC
Similar to tours of Baltimore that highlight locations from HBO’s gritty crime drama The Wire, Mayberry capitalizes on its association with another law enforcement-themed program: The Andy Griffith Show. Fans flock to this small Piedmont community to see the jail cell that held town drunk Otis Campbell, the moonshine still busted up by Deputy Barney Fife, the store from which young Opie Taylor stole a candy bar, and the sites of other notorious goings-on. Of less interest are tour destinations dealing with the hard times that befell Mayberry after Andy Griffith went off the air, such as the corner where Ernest T. Bass was arrested for slinging rock during the hamlet’s mid-1980s crack epidemic.

What to Do There:
Fishing
For the true Mayberry experience, bring a small, red-headed kid down to the fishing hole with you, whistling whilst you walk. Speaking of that…

Whistling
Everyone knows how the theme song goes. Just purse your lips and blow. Doo-do-do-DOO-do-doo-do, DOO-do-doo-do, DOO-do-doo-do-DOO…

•••

Disney’s Wild Wild West Virginia
When the Walt Disney company purchased West Virginia in 2009, little was known about their plans. Now open for its inaugural season, Wild Wild West Virginia is goes far beyond what anyone could have imagined. Pack an oxygen mask because you’ll need it as you journey miles into the earth’s core on Mickey’s Magical Mineshaft. Be sure to visit the World of Yesterday, where Goofy leads you on a historically inaccurate Appalachian adventure based on textbooks that no other school district in the nation has used since the 1960s.

What to Do There:
The Grave of Don Knotts
It’s no Knott’s Berry Farm, but you’ll have just as much fun honoring the earthly remains of America’s favorite confused, ascot-wearing landlord. R.I.P., Mr. Furley.

Harpers Ferry National Historic Park
Re-enact one of the country’s bloodiest abolitionist uprisings at this 2,287-acre preserve, or just have the family pose for photos at the spot where John Brown was captured.

•••

Duckburg
In the heart of the great state of Calisota lies Duckburg, a glittering boomtown that benefits from the largesse of its wealthiest resident–an eccentric Scottish billionaire whose net worth is thought to be so liquid that he can swim in it. A bustling metropolis on par with New York and Tokyo, visitors often find themselves overwhelmed by the city’s sheer energy, describing life there as like a hurricane. With race cars, lasers, and airplanes frequently found zipping through the streets, it’s no wonder residents have nicknamed the place “Duck-blur.” Detractors will point to high crime statistics, however travelers should keep in mind that 99.8% of that criminal activity is focused around the vast currency storage facility located on Killmotor Hill.

What to Do There:
Take Classes at Duckburg Community College
Criminal justice enthusiasts might solve a mystery, while fans of archaeology can rewrite history.

•••

Camp Leatherneck, Afghanistan
It’s an uncomfortable fact that certain regions of the Middle East can be dangerous places for American travelers. That’s why the operators of Camp Leatherneck are always looking for a few good men and women willing to pay a visit to Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. To entice those with an adventurous spirit, they offer all-inclusive packages that cover not just room and board, but also higher education expenses and health care costs. Not to mention anyone who signs up for one of their 24 month-long “tours” receives a complimentary earth tone jacket-and-pant ensemble. It’s a great way to avoid looking like a tourist, as it really helps the wearer blend in with his or her surroundings. All in all, it’s not a vacation destination for everyone, but those who choose to go find themselves coming back to again and again, whether they want to or not.

What to Do There:
Afternoon Tea with Locals
There’s nothing Pashtun tribesmen in the region love more than discussing issues over three cups of strong tea. Be careful, though: they can be pretty opinionated and aren’t afraid to use strong language (or worse) to show their disagreement.

Flower Picking
Helmand Province is home to the biggest poppy fields in the world. Visitors are encouraged to round up as many as they can.

Day Trip to Pakistan
Though not listed on the official list of activities, camp officers will occasionally organize field trips across the border in search of new caves to explore.

•••

Satan’s Duplex, WY
Overshadowed by Devils Tower (literally when the angle of the sun is right), Satan’s Duplex is the sixth largest rock formation in Wyoming’s northeast region. With an elevation of just under 200 feet, those willing to make the arduous ten minute hike to the top are rewarded with a panoramic view of the billboards lining Interstate 90 as it passes through the town of Gillette. On a clear day, eagle-eyed birdwatchers can see all the way to the Knotty Pines Shopping Center, where a large flock of buzzards have begun nesting in the rafters of an abandoned Circuit City warehouse. Those interested in Native American history will note that, unlike other unique geologic features in the western U.S., Satan’s Duplex is not considered a sacred site by any tribe. That said, the mesa is where less ambitious students from nearby Sitting Bull High School like to hang out and smoke, so visitors are advised to keep an eye on their personal belongings at all times.

What to Do There:
Rock Climbing
The sides of Satan’s Duplex are short and gently sloped, making it perfect for rock climbers who are beginners, suffer from vertigo, or just get tired easily.

Camping
The preferred (and only) accommodations for overnight visitors, as the only hotel in town burned down a few years ago and locals are very suspicious of outsiders.

Carbuncle Muffler at Knotty Pines Shopping Center
Validated parking for any visitor to Satan’s Duplex who spends more than $20 on auto parts.

•••

The Jersey Shore, NJ
Stretching from Sandy Hook to Cape May, the Jersey Shore attracts a diverse crowd, ranging from Italian-Americans who live in New York to Italian-Americans who live in Philly. Starting in late April, every inch of the area’s beaches and boardwalks are packed with guidos, guidettes, and the occasional “Snooki.” By the midsummer peak season, it’s believed that there are more Italian stereotypes populating this 127-mile strip of coastline than in Sicily, the Old Country, and every mafia movie in the history of Hollywood combined. Keep in mind that though the Jersey Shore is part of the U.S., locals speak in a dialect that is nearly indecipherable to anyone who scored in the first two quartiles on their verbal SATs. Either brush up on slang before visiting, or be prepared to nod politely when a man reeking of body spray and abs you could grate parmesan with asks you to “take a grenade” for him.

What to Do There:
Gym
Get your pump on.

Tanning
Get your brown on.

Laundry
Get your fold on.

STD testing
Recommended for anyone who “smushes” with a guido/guidette. Get your blood work on.

•••

Hill Valley, CA
For those wanting to take a break from the rat race, look no further than this small, charming town. Nature lovers can take a leisurely walk along Eastwood Ravine and explore what remains of Hill Valley’s wild west past. Those who prefer to indulge in retail therapy while on vacation can hit the stores of Lone Pine Mall. Just be sure to pick up a few postcards for the folks back home, no matter where (or when) they live. While Hill Valley has done a remarkable job of holding on to its history, over development is becoming an issue. Be sure to visit before casinos and other tourist traps inevitably move in.

What to Do There:
Skateboarding
A favorite hobby of teens, Hill Valley’s town square is always filled with kids getting their grind on. It’s said the best way to see the sites is on four plastic wheels.

Hill Valley Historical Society
Learn about local folklore, such as Hill Valley’s claim to being the birthplace of both rock and roll and the Frisbee.

•••

Vasavilla, Transylvania
Roughly 5,500 miles east of Forks, the Washington town where Twilight is set, lies Vasavilla, a Romanian village that preys upon tourists by offering vampire-themed vacations. Most visitors to the “Bloodsucking Capital of the Balkans” opt to stay in the castle of Vasile the Red-Tongued, a 15th century archduke who, legend has it, was so pale that he sparkled in the sunlight. In truth, he was the last in a long line of in-bred aristocrats whose diminished mental capacity made him think that drinking bat’s blood would somehow improve his health. Also, unlike the vampires in Twilight, Vasile was extremely ugly, as his bat’s blood diet made him extremely susceptible to disfiguring illnesses such as rabies, the plague, and a rare form of herpes indigenous to flying mammals. Also worth checking out, a cave on the outskirts of town that, according to folklore, was home to a werewolf. Modern historians now believe the beast was just a really mean dog.

What to Do There:
Nightlife
“They only come out at night” is Vasavilla’s motto. Namely because centuries of continued in-breeding have turned the locals nocturnal.

•••

Patpongdong, Thailand
A notorious red-light district on the outskirts of Bangkok, Patpongdong earned its reputation by catering to any sexual proclivity, no matter how depraved. Put bluntly: if you have the money, you can have sex with it. That includes, but isn’t limited to: men, women, ladies, classy ladies, ladyboys, regular boys, girls, girls with boys’ names, pre-op transexuals, post-op transexuals, the transgendered, donkeys, transgendered donkeys, chicken, chicken Pad Thai, chicken fried rice, the San Diego Chicken, plants, flowering plants, root vegetables, sensual root vegetables, your wife, your friend’s wife, your mistress, your friend’s mistress, your friend’s other mistress who happens to be your wife, toasters, toaster strudel, strudel that’s been rewarmed in the microwave, a microwave that’s just been used to rewarm strudel, yourself, and so on and so forth. Also, there are some ruins.

What to Do There:
Sex
It’s the one and only reason people come to Patpongdong. You won’t have the energy to do anything else, if you’re doing it right.

Thanks to Devon Coleman, Elliott Kalan, Matt Passet, and Greg Volk for contributing to this piece. For even more unearthed destinations, head to wanderfly.com.

Head over to the order page for exclusive photos of the biggest, best and most flammable issue of Whim to date. While you’re there, get yourself one, won’t you? You deserve it.

In the event you’d prefer to acquire a copy in person, please join us for the Issue #4.5 release party, Tuesday, March 22nd at Three of Cups Lounge (map).

The festivities start at 8 p.m. and will include readings, performances, and stand-up from Whim contributors, plus $4 drinks to help you stomach whatever’s happening on stage. Guaranteed fun for the whole family, assuming your family likes to drink. And laugh. And fight. Either way, FUN!

Food and Cooking

BIALY MARKETPLACE Sister publication to Bagel Exchange [SOLD OUT]
HOAGIE AFICIONADO Ideas for sandwiches 6″ and longer [SOLD OUT]
KETCHUPS OF THE WORLD Keep abreast of innovations in tomato-based condiments [SOLD OUT]
NOTHING BUT GAZPACHO Each issue comes with a vacuum-sealed pouch of soup (8 oz. net wt.) [SOLD OUT]

Animalia

CAMEL ENTHUSIAST For the dromedary lover in your life [SOLD OUT]
EEL FANCY Pointers on keeping your pet morays happy [SOLD OUT]
TIGER BEAT A harrowing account of big game hunting with Nick Jonas [SOLD OUT]

Hobbies

MODEL STEAMBOATER For makers of Gilded Age mass transit replicas [SOLD OUT]
SCIMITAR Amazing catalogue for the discerning sword collector [SOLD OUT]
WHITE POWERLIFTER Bodybuilding tips for racists capable of benching 550+ lbs. [SOLD OUT]

Music

DEUTSCHLANDFUNK Reviews of and commentary on Germany’s heaviest soul groups [SOLD OUT]
DRUM CIRCLER Get into the grooves of today’s top public percussionists [SOLD OUT]
LUTE SHREDDER Classic rock songs tabbed for medieval stringed instruments [SOLD OUT]
NEVER FORGET Simple Minds fan zine [SOLD OUT]
WHAM QUARTERLY Click here for exclusive Wham Q. content [SOLD OUT]

Engineering

m+3 Analysis of forces at work in famous truss bridges [SOLD OUT]
OFFICIAL PROGRAM OF THE 1992 NATIONAL MINING HALL OF FAME INDUCTION CEREMONY Commemorative pamphlet honoring the enshrinement of Paddy Martinez [SOLD OUT]

Historical Matters

DAKOTA The latest in High Plains reunification policy [SOLD OUT]
THE PINCKNEY GAZETTEER Modern assessments of lesser-known Founding Fathers [SOLD OUT]
PLYMOUTH Discussion of boulders and their role in shaping the national psyche
21st CENTURY WHALER Discover new uses for spermaceti and other sea mammal oils [SOLD OUT]

For Adults Only

Also in ADULT:
BATHSHEBA Erotic tableaux of ordinary men being made cuckolds by royalty [SOLD OUT]
HEAVENLY BODIES Guide to constellations that look like two people doing it [SOLD OUT]
KNOTTY PINE Specialty mag for those excited by bondage/cabinet making [SOLD OUT]
GLAND Photos of reproductive organs taken from inside the body [BANNED FROM SALE IN U.S.]

The full version of this article appears in issue #2 of Whim.

3. Kiner’s Corner
4. Donnybrook
5. Athlete’s Foothills
6. Three-Point-Five Mile Island
7. Little Khartoum
8. Sweat Valley
9. Shallow Lake
10. Standing Waterville
11. The Twin Cities

12. Phyllisburgh
13. Compost Mounds
14. Clinton’s Hump
15. Lumpwood
16. Boner Lawn
17. Taupeboro
18. Superfund Gulch
19. Digestiondale
20. Circlegetsthe Square
21. Pauly Shore

22. Obstructedview
23. Boyz Town
24. Burnt Crossing
25. The Lupus
26. Brownfield
27. Shroomingdale
28. Clamato Falls

29. Conjunction Junction
30. Yellow Banks
31. Small Rock Candy Mountain

32. Fort Agnew
33. Croatia-on-Hudson
34. Gato Muerte
35. Unfairbanks
36. Slippery Landing
37. Shasta River
38. Rikers Islet

39. Lefty Grove
40. Cool Ranch
41. Flubbock
42. Thick Streams
43. Plato’s Retreat
44. Rusty Springs
45. Deet Acres
46. Upper Borington
47. Knife Pointe
48. The Forecloisters

49. Styx Creek
50. Free Basin

Appears in issue #2 of Whim.